It was applicable for Euro2004, as if it wasn’t going to be for 2006.

The fucking short version!

Since I posted the item about Briton’s use of porn online I’ve seen a steady flow of traffic from the search phrase “Porn Online”.

Trawling back through my online traffic metrics, and I’ve pulled out some of the more interesting or peculiar search terms that have some relationship to pornography over the past few years. In no particular order, they are:

• there’s something about miriam porn
• photos of japanese pornographic ladies
• hermaphrodite sex pics

…and for the pièce de résistance, there is:

jakob nielsen sex

Now, why anybody would be entering that as a search term, I have no idea. Furthermore, how people have reached my site using that term is simply a laugh. However, I can see that I would be getting traffic from the combination of the terms “Nielsen” and “porn” due to the aforementioned article, even though it is a different “Nielsen”

So, now I bet you’re wondering who Jakob Nielsen is? He’s the self-confessed king of usability. Ok… that’s cool you’re thinking, but is he a good looker? Well, I’ll leave that one up to you.

Dude, it’s time. Girls, you too. Time to pack up the whole in-your-face, raw, hyper-sexualized, porno, skater, white trash, open wounds, self-effacing, Jackass, loose ethics, 80’s bar mitzvah disco, and party-till-you vomit movement, aesthetic and attitude. Go on, scram. Beat it. We don’t want you hanging around anymore. For those of us that saw this Larry Clark inspired tsunami coming, we all thought Terry Richardson was on to something fun (in 2000) and we all laughed our asses off at Vice’s fashion do’s and don’ts (in 2002… ok, ok… they’re still pretty funny). Ed Templeton represented on the West Coast. And for a nanosecond it seemed like that colosal wanker Dov Charney was going to breathe some eros into the deadly boring billboards and newspaper back covers of our nation’s cities. Ya Ya Ya… we thought.

But it’s all over now you beautiful losers. The schtick just comes off as stupid and done. Your hip, modern, rough-hewn, brainless, urban nihilism has been handed over to marketers and sold to the suburbs. Tired. Tired. Ti-erd. Like disco in the 70’s you never had any substance to begin with, and you thought that would make you safe. But it hasn’t. Your fashion clock has stopped ticking. And don’t try to pretty things up with your pastels and your five sizes too small dandy suits either. Just take your little terrycloth short shorts, your limited edition Ryan Mcginley skateboard, your two months at Parsons (before you got kicked out), your ketamine, your tube socks, and your three legged cat, and just go. Try to have the decency to fade into the night and be remembered by your own kids in twenty years. God knows you took enough pictures. They’ll be yawning at yet another flash-saturated shot of you getting your boobs sucked by strangers in a crowded Brooklyn bar.

Please. Go. Stop clinging on. Make way for something new. Evolve.

OK, you can keep the hot pants.

Gleefully stolen from Gazpachot.

Joy! Another video.

Mythbusters - eat your heart out. We all know what happens when you add Mentos to Pepsi or Coke - anyway, here’s one of the better displays I’ve seen in recent times. So, what happens when you add Mentos to Pepsi Cola and shake it all about in a human container?

Comedian Judson Laipply provides us with his interpretation of The Evolution of Dance.

What happens in a futuristic world where the consumption of cookies is controlled by the government?

A brilliant spoof of the V for Vendetta trailer, starring Elmo, Oscar and Cookie Monster.

A middle-class white ‘average homeboy’ giving it to you raw!

I’m a sucker for pets, particularly cats. Here’s a cutesy-cute photoset of ‘Milk’ taking a bath.

Whilst I mention cats, if you’ve not seen Stuff On My Cat, you’ve obviously been hiding under a rock in recent times.

Also, here’s another a clip doing the rounds at the moment of talking cats. Odd and quite bizarre, yet hilarious.

Google takes another step towards global domination with its new product Google Romance.

Whilst it is currently in beta, Google Romance will be a place where you can post all types of romantic information and by Soulmate Searchâ„¢, get back search results that could, in theory, include the love of your life. Then they’ll send you both parties on a Contextual Dateâ„¢, which Google pays for while delivering you relevant ads that Google’s advertising partners think will help produce the dating results you’re looking for.

Potential names could include: Snoogle, Shaggle or even just Ogle. Here’s the press release.

Anyway, here’s a few of Google’s previous April Fools jokes here, here and here.